Envy in a shade of ‘too tired to care’

Hey, are you still awake?

I have no idea what I was about to say, but can you talk?

I was talking to this guy at work. I have a lot of respect for him: he was my trainer, for one day. I never got another training day after that – apparently I was done.

He said something like, “women should grow their hair long if their man wants them to.”

To which I said, “Oh hey there, I just did that, the whole grow-your-hair-long-because-your-partner-likes-it thing, and I disagree.”

I asked him what he was willing to do for her, if she should be willing to wear her hair long for him.

“wear a dress?” I asked. “wear makeup?” Both of which he said “no, not that,” to.

Neither of us, at that moment, understood the point I was trying to make.

I wasn’t aiming to emasculate him. I was illustrating the other things women “should do” because men have been taught to find it sexy.

Believe me, I also find it sexy when a woman is wearing heels and has long lustrous curls, full thighs, and not much else on.

I’ve noticed I no longer envy women for their skinniness or their fitness (should I just give in and call it “wellness’) – it’s their hair I care about. I’m constantly comparing my hair to other women’s and I’m constantly trying to learn how to do hair better. “Oh, if only I could have hair like that,” or, “I finally got my hair to look like that, I’m finally pretty.”

I wonder what envy sounds like to other people.



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